my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i've created a new STD.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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