dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.