Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.