There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom