All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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