White coat. Heels.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??