Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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