she woke up with a sticky ear
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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