yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
