So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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