jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
soo... how was my night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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