My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
