jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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