There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
