help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize