I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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