Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize