dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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