I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
