Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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