Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
