Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
