Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
