in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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