He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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