it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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