I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
