Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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