its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
