the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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