his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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