God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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