we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
