Well apparently he's into motor boating.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize