I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
