Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
