I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As shirtless as possible
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
