Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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