he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
