i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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