if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
