Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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