Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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