I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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