the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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