i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
