My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
