your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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