He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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