I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
