i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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