I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
