When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize