So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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