i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize