I smell stomach acid.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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