Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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