I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
