Please, let me fuck your mom
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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