gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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