Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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