I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize