Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I could fuck to npr.
FUCK WHALES
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
