Fine. I'll sleep in my office
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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