took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
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Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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