You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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