Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
