He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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