I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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