marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
