What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
