Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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