My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
