His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
