At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
