are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm jealous of your bromance
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
