Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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